


Splintered

by Kitaa



Category: Devilman (Anime & Manga), Devilman Crybaby - Fandom
Genre: M/M, akira remains too good for this world, he's selfish as anything still, mentions of violence and the apocalypse, not really tied to any particular canon, satan gets introspective
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-07
Updated: 2018-02-07
Packaged: 2019-03-14 22:26:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,515
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13599708
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kitaa/pseuds/Kitaa
Summary: Satan reflects.





	Splintered

**Author's Note:**

> I'm really fond of the idea of all the different Devilman stories being connected somehow. So this is from the perspective of a Satan who finds himself at a juncture where he can see all those possibilities and what was/might be. And then he drags Akira into it, because of course he does.

All around him were mirrors.

No.

That wasn't quite right. There were reflections, but they were cast at odd angles; some fractured and cloudy, some bright and clear. It was as if he was staring at himself through crystals, or through ice.

But that wasn't quite it, either.

There was nothing physical around him, not really. He stood in the middle of nothing, surrounded only by possibilities. Each reflection was a version of himself, a potential life. How many of them were memories, and how many dreams that would never come to pass? It was impossible, even for him, to know.

Satan reached out a hand, and the thousand selves facing him reached back.

None of them were a perfect reflection. He was a creature of light, majestic and powerful. These figures were mere fragments, parts of himself that had been sheared away to fit in with the lives of the creatures his creator so favored. Humans.

They were all similar, in certain ways. A passing glance might lead to the assumption that they were all the same person. But when he looked closer, he saw the differences. Here was a young man with sharp eyes, scared but determined. A child, intelligent and alone. A woman, dimly aware that her life has greater meaning, but with no way to find it.

All of them were familiar. All of them were _him_. And yet, none of them were complete.

He studied the closest, clearest reflection. A thin boy, hardly old enough to be considered an adult. He didn't know how to be anything but cold and distant, but he still tried, desperately, to hold on to the one thing that mattered to him.

_That_ one, Satan remembered.

But even the images that he didn't remember still hurt to look at.

He knew that they had all endured, or would endure, the same thing.

The same loss. The same pain. Plans that had failed, and plans that had succeeded, far too well.

It was too much. Satan crumpled to the floor, overcome by emotions he barely understood and certainly didn't want. He knew it was a shameful sight; he was strong, he was powerful, he shouldn't be brought to his knees by _anything._

He curled his wings around himself, trying to block the visions. But they couldn't be hidden so easily. They were in his head, repeating forever, a spiraling fractal of faces.

This was his punishment. His _true_ punishment. As if living life after life surrounded by humans wasn't suffering enough, between them he was left here. Trapped in his own mind. The only time he could see the truth of his existence in its entirety.

A weaker creature, he reminded himself, trying to bolster what little strength he had left, would break. Doubtlessly. But not him. He wouldn't break. He couldn't let his adversary win. He'd find a way, somehow, to strike back.

He might suffer. He might grow weak. But he would never, _ever_ break.

Satan forced himself to his feet again, unfurling his wings, determined. Even if it was a meaningless gesture, he stood tall and proud, and stared defiantly at his reflections.

When he looked closely, he could make out a shadow, hovering behind the selves. It was always there. Even in the few blank spots in his vision, the potentials where he was a distant memory, or a dream, that shape remained.

He knew what, or rather, _who_ , it was, of course. Even if his features were cloudy, even if he remained far in the distance, that man was instantly recognizable.

_Akira_.

Sometimes Satan wondered how it had come to this. How had a being such as himself been rendered so thoroughly subdued by nothing more than a human?

Not that it mattered. The fact was that even when he managed to win a small victory over God, if Akira was gone, then it was utterly meaningless. Akira had, somehow, become as important to him as his most coveted ambition.

Was it his warmth? His kindness? His trust? His courage?

Satan didn't know. If he had a choice, he would have plucked the affection from his heart, crushed it like he would an enemy. For it was an enemy, make no mistake. A sweet enemy. An enemy that he welcomed with open arms. But the emotions that Akira roused also tore at him, ripped him from the inside, brought him low again and again.

Here, alone with himself, he could see the truth. He _loved_ that human. Almost more than he loved himself. Almost, almost, _almost_.

Love was God's worst creation.

Satan's temper flared. How dare he fall prey to such a pathetic thing?

And then the anger ebbed away again, just as quickly as it came. It didn't matter how. All that mattered was figuring out a way to achieve his victory, with Akira by his side.

He needed to make Akira understand who their real enemy was. If he could see this, see that the reason humanity was wiped out, over and over, wasn't _his_ fault, but was the action of a vengeful, power-hungry creator, then maybe things could be different.

But that was impossible. He was never allowed to be with Akira, not fully. Even when he remembered his true identity, he didn't remember all of _this_.

Akira needed to see this.See the potentials, suffering, over and over. For every time Satan suffered, Akira did too. Surely he'd want to put an end to all of it.

Satan narrowed his eyes. It would be difficult, but he should be able to do it. Not for all the Akiras, but one, at least. Maybe that would be enough. If he brought one here, the knowledge _might_ bounce across the potentials. It wouldn't be anything solid, nothing like a memory, or even a dream. But something that Satan could use, in another life. Something that would respond to his words and stir feelings of understanding in Akira's heart.

His time here was limited. If it was going to happen, it had to be now.

He concentrated on the vision closest to him, reaching out his hand, calling with every fiber of his being.

Warmth answered him. Human warmth, the warmth of flesh and blood, a hand around his own.

It was easier than he'd expected. Had Akira been, in some sense, waiting for him? Or was that just the deluded thinking of an infatuated mind?

"Hello, Akira."

"Ryo?"

"You know that's not my true name."

"Do I? And why are you--" Akira's brow furrowed as he looked around them, at the countless reflections of himself and the creature that stood at his side. "Where are we? What's going on?"

Ah, of course. An Akira that knew the truth would already be angry, would never reach out for him. So this was an Akira who didn't yet know, who still saw him as the human, Ryo.

Satan smiled. "Sit with me, Akira."

He folded himself onto the ground, stretching his wings out to shield Akira from the reflections. He might not be able to escape them, but there was no reason Akira couldn't.

Akira sat down across from him, watching him closely. "Those wings... are you an angel?"

"Once. I am closer to a demon now, in all but form. Humans know me best as Satan."

"Satan?" Akira's eyes went wide. "Like the _devil_?"

"Yes."

"But you're... Ryo, you're not _like_ that--"

He laughed, "Not like what? I disobeyed, and I was punished. I have no love for God, and little love for his favored creations. I would gladly destroy him if I had the power. I am not Ryo Asuka, Akira. He is a part of me, but not the whole. Do you understand?"

"I... No, no I don't. You're not making any sense."

If it had been anyone else, Satan might have been irritated. But he'd always, in any form, seemed to have more patience for Akira. "You saw the reflections, didn't you?"

"Yeah... they were all you, and me. Right?"

Satan nodded. "Yes. They are fragments of me, and they all exist near _you_."

"I don't understand."

"I know." Despite everything, Satan's heart swelled. Akira was still watching him, listening carefully, trying to understand. He wasn't afraid, he wasn't upset. His eyes held confusion, but his hand was still wrapped around Satan's own.

_This_.

This was almost what he wanted. Just to be be himself, with Akira, with no anger between them. Even if he was surrounded by the remnants of his pain, it didn't matter. This was _almost_ perfect.

Almost.

Millennia of ambition weren't quenched so easily.

"Our time here is short. I need you to listen to me, Akira.This place is a prison. It has no physical form, but it binds me as surely as any chain."

"You're trapped here? Why?"

"I challenged God's authority."

"But, Ryo--"

He was _so_ stubborn. "Akira. God has chosen you, the humans, over demons, but you are both his creations. In my rage at such an injustice, I have destroyed humanity many times. Many of these fragments are people who acted on that will, even unknowingly. I could see no other option but to continue on my path. To stubbornly refuse to admit that I had become as heartless as the God I hate. So humanity suffered, again and again, and you suffered with them. All while my incomplete selves struggled to find an answer that is clear as day to me now."

Akira dropped his hand. "Is all of that true?"

"It is." He couldn't possibly sway Akira to his side unless he was honest about what he'd done; if he lied, if he kept anything secret, and Akira found out, it would only ruin his plans again.

"Ryo... That's horrible."

"Yes. I... I have come to understand that. I am sorry for causing you so much pain, Akira. If you take nothing else with you when you leave here... please remember that."

Akira was silent for a moment. "You said that you found an answer. What was it?"

Satan looked Akira straight in the eyes. "Fight with me, Akira. Help me.I have been a fool, to think I could achieve victory on my own. But together..."

" _What_?"

"Here, I can see all the outcomes, and I realize that my actions were no better than those of God attempting to wipe out the demons. But when I am fractured, I forget. God doesn't want me to remember that. He wants me to continue to make the same mistakes, to continue to suffer."

"But why? If you're sorry--"

"He is cruel, Akira. These potentials, these futures in which humanity is killed again and again, only exist because he wishes them to."

Akira frowned at him, "Am I understanding you right? You want me to help you fight... _God_?"

He stood up, unfurling his wings, extending his arms out as if to encompass all the fractured parts of himself. "My selves are weak, Akira. Weak and too proud to admit it. Brittle, they do not bend, do not adapt. But you are strong in a way that I can never be."

Akira narrowed his eyes, "I'm not strong. The _demon_ you gave me is strong."

Satan shook his head, "You proved your strength when you overcame Amon's will."

"That was just a fluke."

"It was not. I knew him. He wouldn't have been beaten by a lesser opponent."

Akira ran his hand through his hair and shrugged, "Ryo... why are you doing this? Not the fighting, I guess I get that much. But... why me? Why did you drag _me_ to that stupid party in the first place?"

"Who else would I have taken?"

" _Anybody_. You said that those pieces of you don't remember anything. So why does each one of you find _me_? There's nothing special about me, Ryo."

"You are strong."

"Even if I was, they don't _know_ that!" Akira insisted, pointing out at the countless reflections. They all pointed back towards him, but to Satan, it looked as if they were pointing at him, accusing him.

He frowned, "Akira--"

"Are you trying to tell me it's coincidence? That _all_ of those are coincidence? Or are you going to try to sell me on fate? Fate that can't be real because otherwise you wouldn't be able to fight. I might not be as smart as you, but I'm not stupid, Ryo. Tell me the truth."

Satan sat heavily back down,covering himself instinctively with his wings.This wasn't supposed to go like this. He was only supposed to rally Akira to his side. But somehow, he'd exposed too much.

"Ryo, answer me. Why _me_?"

He didn't want to. Not here. The one simple truth that drove him, that had brought Akira here. He ached with wanting to say it, as he had countless times. But the very thought put more fear in him than anything else ever had. If Akira rejected him here, if _that_ was what rippled through the potentials... What then? Would he ever even see him again? Or would Akira remember, and avoid him in all the futures to come, in all his dreams?

"Don't hide. _Answer_ me."

Satan's voice was so soft that it was barely audible, even in the stillness. "I need you."

" _Why_? I'm just a human being. You're an _angel_."

He curled up tighter, silent.

"Ryo..."

Akira still insisted in calling him that name. As if he was simply another person. He wished, for a moment, that he could be. That his human selves could be something other than a vessel, an agent of his own hidden will. That they could be themselves, and perhaps be happy.

But they couldn't.

When he spoke, it was to the floor. "I don't want to lose you."

" _Ryo_ ," Akira's voice was firm. "Tell me _why_. You want me to fight God with you, something I can hardly _understand_. I deserve to know why."

He did. Of course he did.

"Because you _are_ strong, Akira. You're so strong that you keep me from breaking. It's so foolish... I have so much power. More power than nearly anything. But I need you beside me, need your kindness, your compassion." Satan didn't blush. That was a human reaction. But his reflections did. "All of these fragments are so different from each other, but there's one thing they all have in common. One thing that binds them together, binds them to me."

Akira waited for him to finish.

"They all love you, Akira. Just as I do."

There was no answer.

Fear swept through him. Was Akira so upset that he couldn't even speak? His wings slowly curled away from his face, and he looked around.

Akira was nowhere. Nowhere except in the endless reflections of his mind.

" _Why_? Why _now_?"

Satan's temper flared, and he lashed out at the nearest figure in a rage.

And then he noticed it.

In the reflection before him, and in those cascading away from it, Akira was no longer standing behind him, but next to him.

Hand in hand.


End file.
